After  High-Degree Prenatal Tears

[after the program]

“I had a patient who had a tear, not of the fourth-degree, still I was a wreck, so much that I couldn't even crack open a Lidocaine ampule to hand it to the doctor who came to stich her up. I just left the room, just could not function. Only when I got home I cried, fell into pieces, and then I did to myself what we've learned in the course, I was just talking with myself – "well, what did I have here?," "what was most difficult?"… slowly, I let it all come up, and I found a place for the tough questions (without trying to soothe myself or convince myself that everything is OK): "A women had a tear," "she is hurt – it's hard to live with that," "It's someone's life, how will it be going forward?" "How will she heal?" "what will she feel?" "will she suffer of pain Later on?"… I let it all come up… as I did, I no longer cried, and when I was done I could finally breath!”